How to Travel Australia with Kids

This month sees the publication of 75 Must See Places to Take the Kids (before they don’t want to go).    You see, while living and writing The Great Australian Bucket List, I was also travelling with my wife and two kids, aged 2 and 5, moving at a frenetic pace that very nearly did all of us in.  Family travel, I was learning, is an entirely different beast.   But we discovered some truly incredible wonders for all ages, gathered priceless memories, and also learned a thing or two.   To celebrate the launch of the new book, here’s some of that hard-fought wisdom for parents of young kids, and the people and family who support them.

75 Must See Places to Take the Kids (Published by Affirm Press)
  • There Are No Gurus

With due respect, any Mom or Dad who claims to have family travel figured out is delusional, likely fibbing, or paying someone a lot of money to look after their kids. The truth is: young kids do not give a flying crap about your best laid plans and intentions. Rather, they’ll make a crap while you’re flying (probably an explosive one, the kind that just violates a diaper).   Children under the age of five are frequently erratic, inefficient, agitated, annoying, moody, and instinctively know how to push your buttons. And this is before you take them on a stressful journey. Of course, you love them more than anything in the world, and there are moments of such tenderness, magic and wonder it makes all other forms of travel – backpacking, honeymooning, grey nomading – pale. But you will work for those moments, and pay for them in blood, sweat, tears and dollars. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

  • Flying

If there’s strategy, we tried it. Not letting the kids nap so they’ll sleep on the plane (they didn’t). Letting them nap so they’d be rested (they weren’t). Buying books, loading up devices, crayons for colouring in…the reality is that some flights are terrible, and some flights are not. Overwhelmingly, we found Jetstar’s crew to be sympathetic and helpful. Fellow passengers meanwhile could be broken down into several categories: a) We’ve been there and Thank God we’re not there any more b) How dare you bring your snotty kids on this plane and ruin my flight c) I’m right there with you and we’d chat but my kid is eating the tray that was last wiped down in 1997 …and d) Every cent I invested in these noise cancelling headphones was worth it. Never will time tick more slowly than when you find yourself on a plane with your screaming, inconsolable, jetlagged and overtired infant and toddler. The best thing that can be said for flying is that it eventually ends, you will land in your destination, it beats spending all those hours in a car, and with devices, flying today is very much easier than it used to be.

  • Driving

We drove almost 20,000 kilometres during our trip, and it definitely helped that we were in a comfortable Ford Everest. With direction from my toddler, I curated a playlist of 100 songs I knew my kids would enjoy, and adults might be able to stomach on endless repeat. We learned that snacks must be instantly accessible, along with wipes, and towels for sudden eruptions of projectile vomit on winding roads (watch for seismic clues like the kids being too quiet, moaning, or turning sepia). Good car seats are essential (we went with Britax) with the advantage of the kids being strapped in. Sometimes strapping them in was an easy process, and sometimes we’d lean in too close to fasten a buckle and get the open-handed slap to the face. Don’t blame the kid, you’re a sitting duck. GPS definitely takes the sting out of getting lost and provides some indication on how long the journey will take, not that this will stop the endless barrage of “Are We There Yet?”   Road games help, especially for the older kids. Drugs occasionally help, especially for parents.

  • Packing

Before you depart, resign yourself to the fact that you’re going to pack far more than you need. Imagining every conceivable scenario, you simply can’t help yourself. What if it gets unseasonably hot, cold, wet, dry, or buggy? If it does, you can deal with it with a quick visit to the store, mall or market. Our kids outgrew their shoes twice in 10 months. For almost a year, their wardrobe consisted of a small suitcase that seemed to refresh its garments along the way, when the holes and stains and smells overwhelmed the clothing’s usefulness. Even with a limited selection, our five year old would have meltdowns over her fashion choices, with a favourite dress or shirt cast out from one day to the next. Your best bet is to pack a travel uniform of sorts, with the same garment combo in multiples. Good luck with that.

  • Eating

The restaurants of Australia seem convinced that the most important food groups for every growing child are chicken nuggets and chips, pizza, mac and cheese, fish and chips, chicken nuggets served with mac and cheese, and pizza served with fish and chips.   Basically, all the essential minerals and vitamins one can get.    Of course, any time we ordered something that wasn’t from the Kids Menu, the kids would take one bite, and the bill would take a bigger bite. This is why we did a lot of cooking wherever we stayed, which not only saved us money, it also saved our sanity.

  • Accommodation

Self-catering cabins at holiday parks (we had wonderful stays with Discovery Holiday Parks) and two bedroom apartment rentals (we stuck with Oaks Hotels) served us much better than a traditional hotel room. Kids need the space, you need the kitchen, and holiday parks come with jumping pillows, pools, playgrounds, and most importantly, other kids for yours to play with. We used an ultra-light, easy-to-assemble travel crib from Valco Baby which ensured our two year old had consistency. He’s a good sleeper, but our five year-old frequently ended up in our bed, and I frequently ended up in her bed, a sofa, and one time, on the floor in the closet. You do what you got to do.   Kids thrive on routine, and travel is all about shaking that routine up. Everyone has to give or take to make it work on the road. By everyone, I refer to parents giving up everything, and the kids taking as much as they can.

  • Activities

I’ve written several “bucket list” books that investigate unique experiences, and I’ve built my career as a writer who chases the extraordinary, a Connoisseur of Fine Experiences.   You can visit a beach, wildlife park, waterpark, or museum anywhere, so I had to dig a little deeper for activities that could include my kids. Stuff like standing beneath a snarling lion inside a cage or hand feeding Bluefin tuna in South Australia.   Stuff like swimming with baby crocs or in natural jacuzzis (NT),   being inside a glass box hanging off a building or panning for gold (VIC), kayaking off Fraser Island or feasting in a shipping container food market (QLD), sailing with dugongs and chasing quokkas (WA), petting stingrays and braving the world’s steepest railcar (NSW) and jumping on modern art and staring down ferocious devils (TAS). Of course, the kids loved the beaches (the Whitsundays, Bondi, Byron Bay), the wildlife parks (Caversham in WA, Cleland in SA, Wildlife Habitat in QLD, the Melbourne Zoo), the museums (Scienceworks and the Melbourne Museum in VIC, Questacon in ACT, the Maritime Museum in Perth) and waterparks (most of the Discovery Holiday Parks we stayed in, the Oaks Oasis).   But most of all, they loved ice cream. Because in the end, it didn’t matter what incredible activity or destination we ticked off, the best part was just being together, spending quality time as a family that we’ll always look back on with joy, wonder, and inspiration.

Despite the challenges – the meltdowns, the pukes, the frenetic meals, lack of sleep, intense drives – my family managed to breathe deep, laugh, play, capture memories we might only appreciate later, and celebrate the incredible Australian opportunities that came our way.

You can buy 75 Must-See Places To Take The Kids at Booktopia and Dymocks. 

 

Travel Stories to Inspire your (Literal) Dreams

My cabin is as comfortable as any you’ll find on a train, the bed adorned with soft sheets and pillows, and still I cannot fall asleep.   Too much on my mind, too much to process from a day exploring remote underground homes in the world’s opal mining capital, too much fun at the open bar aboard The Ghan. I typically read before bedtime as a way to put my mind to rest, but tonight my eyes are too tired to stay open, and my brain too wired to close. It would be great if someone could read me to sleep, with a safe and soothing voice. As for the story, it should be deliberately and delicately crafted to avoid anything too exciting, and take me on a peaceful journey to Sleepland.   Just so happens that Phoebe Smith, soon to be the official sleep storyteller-in-residence for the Calm mindfulness app, is in the cabin right next to mine.   I’m sure she’s sleeping like a baby.

With over 40 million downloads, 200,000 5-star reviews, and Best App of the Year Awards from both Apple and Google, the Calm app has hit a cultural bulls eye with sharpened z-shaped arrows.   It’s loaded with meditations, ambient music and soundscapes, and dozens of sleep stories narrated by folks like Matthew McConaughey, Stephen Fry, Joanna Lumley, and The Wire’s Clarke Peters, who has richer Morgan Freeman voice than Morgan Freeman himself.   Millions of satisfied subscribers swear that Calm does exactly as its very name suggests: it calms you down, whether you set-up an easy 15-minute Focus or Anxiety meditation, a fiction or non-fiction story to lull you to sleep, or soothing sounds to massage your ear canal.

Extreme sleeper Phoebe Smith finds a nice warm spot for the night.

“Two million people a month listen to my stories, it’s mind-blowing,” Phoebe tells me. “I admit I was sceptical, until I listened to one of my own stories and quickly fell asleep.” A year has passed since our Ghan adventure across Australia, and she’s in Vancouver on her way up north to to explore the Khutzeymateen Grizzly Bear Sanctuary. Since we ran about Alice Springs trying unsuccessfully to get an epic author photo for my next book, she’s been called the JK Rowling of Sleep Stories, has been profiled in major media, and fine-tuned her craft. We’re in the lobby bar at the Hotel Vancouver, and having just flown in from Brisbane that morning, Phoebe looks like she could use a little sleep herself.   Isn’t a 14-hour flight and 17-hour time the enemy of the well rested?   “Honestly, travelling with my own pillow has been a game-changer. Your brain associates the scent of your pillow with sleep, and it really works!”  It pays to listen to someone who makes a living devoted to sleep.

Calm’s Sleep Stories

Back in the UK where she lives, Phoebe is known for her books and stories about sleeping in unusual, extreme and wild places. I quite like the fact that Calm didn’t hire a scientist or psychologist to methodically bore you to sleep, but rather a storyteller. “Storytelling is such an old tradition, it’s how knowledge and wisdom has been passed down throughout history,” says Phoebe. But hang on, aren’t you essentially writing stories so boring it puts people to sleep?    “As a kid, you didn’t want a boring story, but there’s definitely a technique involved. There can’t be too much action or excitement, and it should take you on a journey, which is why trains, boats, rivers and forests work so well.   Feedback suggests that most people fall asleep within five to ten minutes, but I get lots of emails from people around the world wanting to know more about the places I write about.”   Places like the lavender fields of Provence, the jungles of Madagascar, the Mississippi River and the forgotten forests of Morocco. There are travel stories about oceans and deserts, safaris and night skies. There are train journeys aboard the Orient Express, the Trans-Siberia, and yes, our adventure aboard The Ghan.

We both agree that stories are a far healthier alternative to medication and sleep aids.  “These days, we often treat sleep as an inconvenience,” Phoebe explains. “There’s so much going on and instantly available that we can’t switch off, which only adds to the anxiety.”   It’s why she turns off her devices at least an hour before bed, keeps her bedroom free of distractions, and is passionate about sleeping in the wild. “When it gets dark, you sleep, and when the sun rises, you wake up. It’s the natural rhythm of our bodies, and it makes you feel calm and rested.”   Unlike Phoebe, the very thought of sleeping outdoors, exposed and alone on say, a mountain top, freaks my poor brain out. So I’ll ignore her advice and keep my iPhone handy, ready to load up a Calm sleep story, and let her words inspire a blissful lullaby.

You can follow Phoebe’s extreme sleeps and wild camping here.
Learn more about Calm here.

Life on the Larapinta Trail

Australia’s most iconic outback trek was the last tick on my Australian Bucket List, and one of the first things I tell people to add to theirs.  The landscape is truly extraordinary, and with World Expeditions taking care of everything including the logistics, meals and accommodation, you don’t have to sweat it either.  As with all the other experiences in my book, just a few photos made it to print, but I took so many more.  I thought I’d share some of them this month as the outback sun cools down and the Larapinta Trail season kicks into high gear.

Smashin’ the Pinta!

Firstly, a shout out to my group.  Yes, they happened to be predominately women, which is awesome, and from New South Wales, which we won’t hold against them ; )  Point is, doing the Larapinta in Comfort, as this World Expeditions package is called, will appeal to all shapes and sizes, and anyone who enjoys day hikes.  Don’t be put off by the multi-day trekking aspect of it, because we’re not in the Himalayas, there’s no altitude, and the pace is doable for anyone with a modicum of fitness.  Two exceptionally able guides are with you all times, and if you want to sit it out, that’s entirely up to you.  While I wouldn’t recommend this one for young kids, trekkers well into their 70’s have been “smashing the ‘Pinta” successfully for years.

Away we Go

I took this picture just minutes into the start of our six day adventure.  Everyone was fresh and eager and getting to know each other on the trail.  It’s also a good opportunity to figure out how your boots, poles and gear is going to hold up in the days ahead.

Into the West MacDonnell Ranges

It doesn’t take long before you crest the plateau of the West MacDonnell Ranges and instantly grasp what all the fuss is about.  The gradient is relatively flat, and the views incredible.  Before each leg, your guides explain what’s coming up next, and prepare you mentally for the hike ahead.  There’s plenty of time to stop and take photographs.  Incidentally, I carried a mirrorless Olympus to keep things light. Some hikers brought their DSLRs, others were more content to just use their phones.  One of the best shots in my book was taken by a fellow hiker using her Google Pixel phone!

Check out the video! 

Into Camp
Camping in Style

World Expeditions have their own impressively sustainable camps set up.  It’s like camping without the hassle.  Delicious meals are cooked for you, there are solar hot showers, cots and sleeping bags in large canvas tents, and couches to stretch out your feet and enjoy a glass of wine.   Speaking of which:  hikers can pick up their own booze in Alice Springs before the journey, which is driven ahead (along with your bags) to each campsite along the trail.  Just to clarify: You’re not doing the full Larapinta trail, but a curated six-day hike that encompasses the very best bits!  And compared to sleeping in a small tent, carrying all your food and cooking it on scrappy camp utensils, this is very much what comfort looks like.

Simpsons Gap
Serpentine Gorge

Each day’s hike has a destination highlight, bursting with natural beauty and cultural significance.   Sacred watering holes and slices in the red escarpment, both of which attract wildlife and wonder.  They’re also great spots for snack breaks!   Most of these can be accessed by bus from Alice Springs and form part of the tourist attractions in the region.  You’ve come in on foot though, so you’ve earned it!

One Step at a Time
On the Trail

Here’s some hiking shots to give you an idea of the landscape and trail quality.   Low shrubs and trees, blue skies, and comfortable trekking.  Most of us used a pole or two, some didn’t feel the need for them. We carried only daypacks with snacks and water, bug spray and sunscreen.   One guide in the front (with the faster walkers) and one in the back (with the straddlers, like myself).

Lunch Break

Lunch consists of sandwiches and wraps, fruits and nuts, carried in and out by our wonderful and superhuman guides.  Always a welcome opportunity to top up the energy reserves, stop in your tracks to look for wildlife, and appreciate the surprisingly dense vegetation.

Mount Sonder Sunrise
Coming down Mount Sondor

The climax is undoubtedly Day 5, which involves a steep, 8-kilometre long climb up Mount Sondor to catch one of the most epic sunrises in Australia. We woke up at 3am. It’s quite an experience hiking at night under the galaxy of stars that paint the skies in this part of the world.  It’s hypnotic watching your headlamp light the way forward. Mount Sondor is officially the end of the Larapinta Trail, and also its highest point.  We watched the sunrise, and returned along the same path to witness the spectacular scenery we’d missed in the dark on the way up.  It’s a challenging day, but after 4 days trekking, your muscles are warmed up for it, your boots are broken in, and the sheer adventure gets you over the tough part. After that, it’s downhill all the way.

Pounding the Pound
Ormiston Pound

The final day is an easy 6-kilometre walk into Ormiston Pound, which isn’t technically part of the Larapinta Trail, but you can quickly see why its on the itinerary.  Hiking between the spiky spiniflex, we were asked by our guides to enter the gorge in silence, reflecting on the beauty around us, and also the adventure we’d had this past week.  It’s a very special place, and impossible not to enjoy a very special moment.  From here, the bus picked us up, and returned us to our hotels in Alice Springs.  The group met up that night for dinner and drinks, and a well-earned toast to one of the greatest adventures on The Great Australian Bucket List.

Special thanks to the ‘Smashin’ the Pinta’ crew who made my experience so memorable.

If you’re inspired to tick off the Larapinta Trail, click here for more information from World Expeditions.